Crouching Tiger, Hidden Toilet

“Crouch down, keep your panties just below your knees and try to aim… like the guys do. Sometimes I like to hold onto the door if I can. It’s all about balance.”

I finally conquered the dreaded squatting toilet. I just couldn’t hold it anymore; it was right after lunch time, I had drunk far too many cups of jasmine tea and if all the other girls could do it, why not me! My friend, whose words of wisdom are above, had to guide me through it, step by step. It was a strange experience, but afterwards, I felt like I had accomplished something. Girl on a Gap 1 – Squatting Toilet 0.

When I was 2 and a half years old, my parents decided to spend 6 weeks travelling around India, with me, my grandmother and a friend of theirs. I don’t remember much, but I can imagine that it must have been a crazy, exhausting adventure.

What my mom remembers is that I flat-out refused to use the squatting toilets. Every day I would turn my nose up at the hole in the ground and wait for the “nice toilet from home” at the hotel. So, naturally, I developed a bladder of steel and still have it today. But sometimes even bladders of steel spring a leak!

I honestly did not expect there to be squatting toilets in China. It was a total surprise to me. Unfortunately, the majority of the public toilets are quite disgusting here, and it is a luxury to get toilet paper and soap (It’s the small things in life!).

I’ve learnt on this trip that when you gotta go, you gotta go, especially when you’re drinking so much water because of the heat and have 3hr long bus rides. I’ve also learnt that you should always make use of any clean toilet and not take it for granted, because you never know what the next one will be like. And, lastly, ALWAYS PACK TISSUES.

I’ll need all the toilet-training I can get for my next trip, where the organisers have referred to a Western-style toilet as “the throne”.

I’m still convinced, however, that squatting toilets should have some kind of bar to hold onto… like at the gym.