Crouching Tiger, Hidden Toilet

“Crouch down, keep your panties just below your knees and try to aim… like the guys do. Sometimes I like to hold onto the door if I can. It’s all about balance.”

I finally conquered the dreaded squatting toilet. I just couldn’t hold it anymore; it was right after lunch time, I had drunk far too many cups of jasmine tea and if all the other girls could do it, why not me! My friend, whose words of wisdom are above, had to guide me through it, step by step. It was a strange experience, but afterwards, I felt like I had accomplished something. Girl on a Gap 1 – Squatting Toilet 0.

When I was 2 and a half years old, my parents decided to spend 6 weeks travelling around India, with me, my grandmother and a friend of theirs. I don’t remember much, but I can imagine that it must have been a crazy, exhausting adventure.

What my mom remembers is that I flat-out refused to use the squatting toilets. Every day I would turn my nose up at the hole in the ground and wait for the “nice toilet from home” at the hotel. So, naturally, I developed a bladder of steel and still have it today. But sometimes even bladders of steel spring a leak!

I honestly did not expect there to be squatting toilets in China. It was a total surprise to me. Unfortunately, the majority of the public toilets are quite disgusting here, and it is a luxury to get toilet paper and soap (It’s the small things in life!).

I’ve learnt on this trip that when you gotta go, you gotta go, especially when you’re drinking so much water because of the heat and have 3hr long bus rides. I’ve also learnt that you should always make use of any clean toilet and not take it for granted, because you never know what the next one will be like. And, lastly, ALWAYS PACK TISSUES.

I’ll need all the toilet-training I can get for my next trip, where the organisers have referred to a Western-style toilet as “the throne”.

I’m still convinced, however, that squatting toilets should have some kind of bar to hold onto… like at the gym.  

Just Google it!

Beijing skyline

The next chapter of my journey as “Girl on a Gap” begins tomorrow in China! Although I feel as if my time at home was far too short, I am excited to explore a country that I’ve never visited before. I will be one of 28 students (from 14 nations!) on a programme about Chinese business and culture. We will visit five cities, see the main attractions (from the Great Wall in Beijing to a Panda Bear Research Facility in Chengdu), have morning lectures and be totally immersed in everything Chinese. 

I had to do a pre-departure assignment and although it took quite a bit of time, I saw the value in doing it, as I started thinking about China (its population, history, economy etc.) and comparing it to South Africa. I am most interested to learn about Chinese politics and how a communist regime has sustained itself while becoming the fastest growing economy in the world.  

Our conference call last week brought some shocking news… Google is banned in China and quite possibly Facebook too. “A whole month without Facebook?!”  I told my mom in despair. “You’ll be fine, dahling” was her unsympathetic reply.

Photo: RealcomBiz

Okay, maybe I can manage without Facebook for a month, but Google? That’s a little hard to imagine. We live in a world where information is accessible at the touch of a button and people constantly say “Just Google it”. Want to know the weather of the five cities I’m visiting? Just Google it. Want to know what plugs they use in China? Just Google it. Want to know the exchange rate? That’s right, just Google it!

We are the Google generation. We pick up our smart phones when we’re out at a restaurant and Google what we don’t know… that actress’ name we can’t remember, the score of a game we’re missing… Which is why, unfortunately, it is no surprise that there are so many articles about smart phones and stupid people.

Funnily enough, when I visited India in 2012, on a similar programme, I found out that there is even a Google God! In Thailand I discovered that there were Buddhas for every day of the week, as well as sitting, standing and reclining Buddhas. Maybe I’ll find one here to intercede on my behalf…

Giant Leshan Buddha, China

Well, zàijiàn (goodbye), my readers, I’m not sure if you’ll hear from me soon, because if you want to read my blog you’ll have to GOOGLE IT! If you’re reading this, I sent a secret email out of the country and someone posted it on my behalf...I'm not joking.

Service...with a frown?

I’ve been at home now for a few days, before my next adventure, which has given me an opportunity to look back on my time in Prague. Overall it was a positive learning experience, but I wouldn't be a good blogger if I didn't take off my rose-coloured glasses once in a while and give the people the truth... right? I also wouldn't be a good traveller if I didn't take the good with the bad.

After my delightful weekend in Dublin, I hit a bit of a slump and couldn’t wait to come home. Although Prague looks like something out of a fairy-tale, it isn't perfect (and of course, no city is)! 

So, what in particular is irking me? What’s up with that title?

Well, first of all, I think the best way to put it is to say that there is a certain warmth missing in the Czech psyche. I am speaking generally so don't take offence if you don't fit into the mould of the typical Czech. Or, maybe, South Africans are just extra friendly people and go out of their way to make you feel welcome. They may have just met you and they’ll already be inviting you to a braai.   

Fancy a braai? You bring the potato salad!

Not "What can I do for you?", but "What do you want?"

It seems that most waiters couldn't care less whether you were giving them service or not. I lingered for about 5 minutes in the door of a (fancy) restaurant, waiting for someone to say that I could have a seat or show me to my table. In those few minutes, at least three waiters passed and ignored me. When I went up to one and asked if I could have a seat anywhere, he answered "no, only where there aren't people"... No duh.  

No thank you, Grand Café Orient!

We, the customers, clearly aren't keeping them in business. They also don't pay you any attention until you want the bill! Since it’s rude to wave to the waiter, you have to contort yourself in order to make eye contact. Then they make sure to tell you that "tip is not included". This is directed at foreigners since most Czech people don't tip in restaurants, apart from rounding up the bill. 

Be warned: Nobody will tell you if a restaurant is cash-only or if they only take Koruna. So, best you check with them before you sit down and eat a whole meal. 

And it's not only the waiters. The shop assistants sigh heavily when you don't understand them and the beautician plainly refuses to help you because you are "Anglický" (English), even though you've learnt the Czech name of the treatment that you want. I know that I don't look like a Czech person at all, but that's no reason for people to openly stare in the streets... or to scowl at me for that matter (see my previous post). 

You try asking for a wax in Czech! 

And there's more! Poop all over the cobbled streets, because people can't be bothered to pick up their dog's business...  

And the cherry on top; the physical abuse in the streets. More than once during my stay, I saw well-dressed couples arguing and actually physically fighting in the middle of the road in broad daylight. One man even spat in a woman's face. Another time I watched, horrified, as a man tried to knock down a tram-stop post, because he was so mad at his girlfriend! 

I wonder what the tram stop ever did to him...

I decided to bring the matter up with one of my new Czech friends. She said that because the Czech people had been under a communist regime for so long, there is no culture of service. Czech people don't know how to serve others, perhaps because the previous government looked after them under communism. 

Anyway, it made me proud to be South African. There’s so much that goes on in the way of community service here. There is no shortage of places to volunteer at and so many people I know are engaged with community projects; you could build houses in the townships, read to children in hospital, or help them with their homework. 

Painting a children's playground in Cape Town.

I think that the Duke of Edinburgh's International Award could be pivotal in changing the attitudes of the Czech youth. The Award helps to grow a culture of service and social responsibility. Young people learn the importance of helping others, over themselves. And when we help others we learn to be grateful for what we have and I think that makes us happier people. 

40 Czech students were awarded their Gold Awards, by HRH the Countess of Wessex,
at the Duke of Edinburgh's International Award's Gold Award Ceremony on 20 May 2015.

Rant over. 

Dublin Decided 2015

As soon as I exited the airport in Prague, I felt my Dublin-smile turn upside down. My frown only deepened after the bus ride, two metros and the walk back to my apartment alone, dragging my suitcase behind me, over the cobblestones.

My friend, Paco (a Mexican who has lived in Prague for four years), is right: once you’ve been in a city for a long time, you start to pick up small mannerisms, like walking around with a scowl on your face and glaring at people for no reason. 

My weekend escape to Dublin was a much-needed breath of fresh air, after a very hectic week leading up to the Royal Visit and all of the festivities for the Duke of Edinburgh’s Award ceremony. For the next week in Prague, I was terribly homesick and heard the Friendly City* calling my name.

Of course, my few days away were so great, because I stayed with family, who I hadn’t seen in ages. My Aunt Mags has three sons, and so I filled the gap of the perfect shopping companion, cappuccino-drinker and honorary daughter. I was thoroughly spoilt, from our movie-style reunion at the airport to eating at the best restaurants (Fade Street and Taste at Rustic Stone), as well as being treated to home-cooking, with just the right amount of chilli.

Smoked Japanese Cheesecake with Banana and Salted Caramel Sauce
from Taste at Rustic Stone.

Even the chocolate had chilli!

Everywhere you go in Dublin, people ask how you are and they really want to know. When Mags and I went for a coffee in the morning or paused at a park bench, we were often joined by students and grannies alike who struck up conversations and who thought it was just “lurv-ly” that I was from South Africa.

I was also lucky to see history in the making that weekend. Dublin was buzzing and Irish citizens from all corners of the world had turned up to vote on the legalisation of same-sex marriage. After the ‘yes’ vote was announced, you could not walk down the street without a smile on your face. People filled the pubs and restaurants and crowds spilled out onto the streets. Almost every shop that we passed had a ‘YES’ sign displayed in the window and one of the gay clubs had a giant billboard flashing ‘YES’ against a background of the rainbow-coloured LGBT flag.

Ireland became the first country in the world to legalise same-sex marriage by popular vote that weekend. Ireland joined 18 countries in the world and I was there to see it happen! [The South African parliament voted for this in 2006, 230 to 41.]

The Friendly City became even friendlier that night!

*In 2013, Dublin was named the 8th friendliest city in the world and Cork, also in Ireland, number one.